Judging and improving your own level of self-esteem

If you can answer yes to at least ten out of the following fifteen questions, you probably have a reasonably good level of self-esteem. Any less than nine ‘yes’s’ and it’s time to take a longer look at what is holding you back in learning to be happy in yourself. Try to be honest and answer what you tend to believe most of the time, rather than all of the time. And don’t say ‘yes’ simply because that’s what you’d like to be, rather than how you actually see yourself.

1. Do you like yourself?
2. Do you deserve to be loved?
3. Have you something worth giving to someone else, emotionally?
4. Are you basically a good, caring person?
5. Do you deserve to be happy?
6. Are you generally optimistic about life?
7. Do you feel that your opinions matter even if they seem to be different from other peoples?
8. When you do well are you proud of your achievements?
9. Can you express yourself in company with ease?
10. Do you find it relatively easy to say ‘no’?
11. Do you tackle problems individually rather than let them stack up?
12. Can you take constructive criticism?
13. Do you manage to control your anger or temper?
14. Do you find it easy to make good friends?
15. Do you willingly take risks, knowing that making mistakes is an essential part of moving forward?

Having a healthy level of self-esteem is not something that we are born with. It is something that develops over time, is intrinsically involved in our families, education, work and relationship history. It is also not a ‘fixed asset’. It can fluctuate over the years, depending on how life is treating us at any given time. However, just as some people are naturally extroverted or introverted, optimistic or pessimistic, we have a general predisposition to having a positive attitude to ourselves – a healthy level of self-esteem – or a more negative attitude, which requires a greater struggle to learn to love ourselves.