Qualities of a natural flirt

Why does it seem so simple for some people to flirt with ease, while others get tongue-tied? It’s generally down to confidence and feeling at ease with yourself. Sometimes it’s easy for people to flirt in a business context, if they’re successful and confident at work, but the same people may be at a total loss for words and flirting skills in a personal situation. And vice versa of course. The expression ‘natural’ isn’t meant to exclude those who have to learn flirt skills rather than find that they are blessed with them from an early age, but the following traits are generally found in people with an innate ability to flirt. However, many of these traits can become skills and will develop with increased confidence and self-esteem (see Chapter 4 of 'The Dating Game' for more on this).

Natural flirts have:
• Good self-esteem
• Belief in themselves
• The flexibility to develop a rapport with many different types of people
• A positive and optimistic attitude to life
• A way of making people feel comfortable in their company
• An ability to ask questions and listen properly to the answers
• Good instinct about what makes other people feel good
• An awareness of their own sexuality and the power of that sexuality
• The ability to pick up on other people’s reactions to their flirting
• A good sense of when to carry on to the next stage or when to stop flirting
• Fun!


Natural flirts enjoy:
• Meeting people
• New and different social occasions
• Using language to its full advantage
• A shared sense of humour
• Making and managing eye contact
• Giving compliments and making someone else feel good

Daunting isn’t it – all the qualities of these natural flirts. They’re just the lucky ones. The rest of us can learn many of these skills and even if we never achieve flirting nemesis, we can find the level at which we feel the most comfortable, learn from our mistakes as we go along and have a little fun along the way.